We always wheel out familiar stories to retell at Christmas. Many of you know this one: but it’s a fairytale, and therefore suitable for repetition ad infinitum. May have to read this out loud on Audioboo and post it later.
Time for a story, I think….
Once upon a time, in a shabby middle class English garden, there lived a grumpy old Pyracantha tree.
It had been planted, many years ago, beneath the kitchen window of a very ordinary family house. Its dense evergreen leaves ensured the house never looked bare: and as the Advent season overtook the little cul-de-sac where it lived, it used its greatest strength to brighten the dull winter months. It had fiery berries which really belonged in fairy tales. They charmed passers-by and decorated the dankest days of winter.
There had to be a catch.
One grasp of this shrub was a one-way ticket to agony.
The family’s father sweated, chopped and chipped, braving the wildcat impudence of the grumpiest shrub in the whole garden. The mother would send him out to trim the tree and shut all the doors and windows: for some of the protestations which emerged from the father’s mouth as he laboured and fought the Pyracantha were not for the ears of their little children.
It was not a happy time for the tree. He was given unceremonious haircuts at the drop of a hat, and exposed to language which would make a sailor swoon. Really, his life was bleak. The nearby flowers were prissy and dull.
He would pass his days gazing through the kitchen window and watching the mother cook, the children working and playing, and Father joking jovially with his family.
“I am worse than worthless”, he told himself.”The people who pass by gaze in wonder at the flowers and they never look at me. I am invisible to them.”
But the Pyracantha was a warrior.
The kitchen window looked onto the world, and the world looked onto the kitchen window.
One day a marauding squirrel cast its beady eyes on the shortbread cooling on the kitchen working surface, and its little mouth watered. I must have some of that shortbread, it resolved; and we all know that when a squirrel sets its mind to anything, there is very little anyone can do to stop it.
But the Pyracantha was having none of this.
The moment the squirrel set paw on its lowest branches, the shrub-warrior employed its thorns with deadly accuracy, poking and pricking and generally making life unbearably disagreeable for the squirrel.
Sod this, said the squirrel, I’m off.
And the shortbread was left, safe and sound, ready to grace kitchen table coffee chats and children’s packed lunch boxes for another day.
Still, though, no one recognised the many and varied talents of this disgruntled, disaffected shrub. Until help emerged from a hitherto unexpected source.
The youngest son of the family was a compassionate little soul. He had a great love for anything living, whether animal or vegetable. Sometimes, he would simply sit next to the family cat and declare: “I love you, cat.” Or he would pass the time of day with the family dog by stroking him, even though the dog smelt unsettlingly like a barnyard.
Christmas was on its way, and soon the day for putting up the tree came round. The children asked Father: may we possibly have outside decorations this year?
Like the legendary Scrooge, Father liked the dark, because the dark was cheap.
But his eldest daughter made her eyes very big and round indeed, and walked her father round the local garden centre with such an air of happy anticipation, that the father relented; and bought a starry set of environmentally friendly Christmas lights.
When they arrived home, they were faced with a dilemma: where, oh where to put them?
I know, said the little son. I know a sad tree which stands outside the kitchen window. I see it watching our fun and I know it feels a little isolated. Perhaps it is he perfect place for our new, environmentally friendly Christmas lights.
The family draped the lights about the Pyracantha tree, and when it grew dark, at about 4:30 in the afternoon, they switched them on.
Heavens! Was there ever such a transformation in any shrub in any corner of the world?
The tree glittered in his twinkling new garb like a set of diamonds at the throat of a princess. And as any fashionista knows, when one is dressed properly, one feels immeasurably more cheerful about the whole business of life.
The Pyracantha felt like a deposit in a Swiss bank, except much, much more public and admired. Passers-by actually stopped their dogs to look at his fabulous berries and his beautiful new suit of stars. He realised, all at once, that he was both very handsome, and an outstanding warrior, and from that moment on he lived happily ever after.
And the moral of this story? Never underestimate the power of a new, well-cut set of clothes.
The End.
Kate Shrewsday 
wonderful, and the fastest you have ever been for a weekend theme 😉
Gracious. I did that without looking, with one hand tied behind my back, Sidey 😀
aaah, that’s lovely *sniffle*
A happy ending…..*blows nose*
That’s it! You’ve convinced me. I’m going out to by a new set of clothes to twinkle about in the dark, which comes here at 4:30 as well.
Good idea, Penny 😀 Lights can make all the difference…
Lights make everything pretty.
They do, Andra. I love that film Father Of The Bride and the part lights play in her wedding marquee…here
So the pyracantha was suitable fired up and the warmth of its glow was felt far and wide.
Beautiful
It stood tall, Nuvofelt 🙂
Sometimes I feel like my whole house, which is under perpetual remodel, sympathizes with the pyracantha. We garland and light the front entry, put candles in the window, and I swear the sunken ridgeline of the roof straightens itself for a few weeks.
What a wonderful image, Cameron. I have a picture of a young woman in a 19th century drawing room, suddenly and surprisingly adorned with beautiful jewels. If I were her, I’d acquire a few extra inches and a glittering smile to match.
oh, chills up my unabashedly romantic spine!
OK, I give up, I’ll go get a new suit.
You know I have been campaigning specifically for that purpose, Lou 😀 Make it a sparkly one.
Oh yes, garland all down the lapels.
Wonderful Christmas Story . . . fits in nicely with Sidey’s Weekend Theme.
Loved:
* The family’s father sweated, chopped and chipped, braving the wildcat impudence of the grumpiest shrub in the whole garden.
* Like the legendary Scrooge, Father liked the dark, because the dark was cheap.
That’s one of our favourite sayings about Phil, Nancy:-D Makes the kids chortle.
Thanks for “delightful” story.
😀 Quick-on-the-draw response, Carl, thanks!
My late husband was (lovingly) referred to by my boys as “Willie Watt” because of his propensity for switching off the lights; if they stepped out of a room for so much as a quick trip to the fridge or to get a drink of water they could count on returning to a darkened room if he happened by in their absence. Yet, at Christmas time he could never string enough lights to illuminate the yard and exterior of our home. A simple candle in the window would just not suffice. And, as with your thorny pyracantha, the house always seemed happier and brighter for his efforts. Thanks for a pleasant holiday memory, Kate.
Phil is precisely the same, Karen: always turning off the lights 😀 And yet here we are in Advent: Blackpool Illuminations. And you are right: the world is lovely and sparkly.
I have envied my neighbor’s pyracantha every December when those red berries just scream Christmas. I never once thought of what it may have required in care. Now I wish I had the nerve to suggest they add some lights. I would so enjoy that sight. Just the simplest of small twinkle lights can literally transform a space and lighten my mood. And once again you’ve share a great family experience of memory-making with your dear children! I just love that! Debra
It’s one of the nicest things about this time of year, Debra, the chance to hang lights in the darkness 🙂
I bet it looks lovely
Well, Egprobs,here’s a confession. This being a repost, the tree looked gorgeous last year but it’s looking a bit forlorn right now. Time to get our there and drape…
All these Christmas stories are making my hanky wet! A lovely story about a fabulous plant: unkillable even by the brownest fingers, a great keeper out of cows from the bottom of the garden, and burglars from the front garden, and best of all, beautiful all year round. You and all the others have really made my day. Thank you.
A beautiful story, beautifully retold. I love pyrarcanthas, even without the lights (or new clothes). Oh do, please, Kate – do read us this story on Audioboo!
I shall, Ruth, I promise; term has just ended and I find I have more time than usual.
Nice tale, Kate, and one I’ll remember should I ever get a Pyracantha in the Mansion’s grinds. However, Lady Pen had a bit of a ruck with her Pyracantha earlier this year, with her ankle suffering because of it; which errs me on the side of caution. I may just start off with a rose or something like that…
As long as it’s green drape it in lights: that’s my motto, Tom. Poor Lady Pen! Those pyracanthas can be so tetchy!
I’ve never read a fairy tale with “Sod this, said the squirrel” in it before. You’ve done a lovely job with this story, full of little lines like that. 🙂
Thanks, Tinman. We have Squirrels With Attitude round here.
Or a decent hair cut.
😀