Photograph -taken by a bleary Phil at 4:30am
If Time were a person, what would he -or she – look like?
Some would say a grand old father figure; others an ethereal wraith. But the best way of judging an entity’s power is by looking at the places where things are changing.
Take a river. The element is water, but its power is manifest most where the currents are strongest. Water can drag a man under it, or envelop him in the blink of an eye, but only when it gathers speed. It depends on the flow volume, the river gradient and the geometrics of the channel it follows.
I wonder if time is the same.
Terry Pratchett – in his study of Death’s job description, “Mort” – examines this a little. His hero is a gangly apprentice who happens to be engaged by a satisfyingly Mediaeval Death. But the apprentice slips up, and saves a beautiful young princess who shouldn’t have been saved, and creates two time-streams, two realities. Bt while the alternative survives in and around the city where the princess ruled in life, the real Time is flowing slowly and inexorably across the fields outside the city to reclaim the princess to a much stringer reality.
We rarely wrestle time, but this week my husband had that opportunity.
His mission: to fly at 12pm on Tuesday to Dallas, Texas, USA; spend the day with a company there; and fly back, arriving back in his office for 10am Thursday.
London, 12 midday, Tuesday. British Airways 74700, first class. Yeah, baby. Wrestling time can be so arduous. Eleven hours later Phil called me, very tired, from Dallas airport. He had been royally wined and dined in a tiny cabin all his own.
The way Phil planned to wrestle time was this: even though he was in another time zone all together – Central Time – he would act as if he were in Britain. He would blank Time, give Time The Hand, cos the face was not listening.
So, though the sunlight streamed and the heat radiated, he went to his hotel bed because it was 1am. No negotiation.
It was just 6pm in Dallas.
He woke at 7:05 British Summer Time. Given, everyone else in Dallas was tucked up in their beds. Phil got up and did some work, checked e mails and gave in for a further 40 minute snooze, nodding in Time’s direction. And then, because it was 10:30am in Britain, he got up and pottered off in search of a diner and a very large breakfast indeed.
Here, we would have trouble finding breakfast at 4:30am. Texas, not so much. he had the works: including grits. Which he has described to me, but I can’t envisage it. Boiled porridge? Really? And it was bacon-themed. It sold bacon-flavoured milkshakes, I shudder to report.
I digress.
He spent boy-time watching the traffic on the freeway. Bless. And then , refreshed, he returned to the hotel which, by six, was waking up. He was picked up by a car at 9am sharp, but for him it was really afternoon tea time, around 3pm. They all had lunch 12pm their time, 6pm ours, and finished at 4pm which is ten at night in Britain.
Phil trailed onto the flight home at 6:30, Texas time. He got his jammies out and changed, and crashed into bed. It was ten past one in the morning, British time, and the sun shone brilliantly through the plane window, and all Texan life was buzzing outside. Exhausted, he slept.
And woke to find a slap-up BA breakfast being served over Ireland.
It was but a wash and a change until landing, and his office is next to the runway. He was at his desk on time, un-jet lagged.
He had wrestled time and won.
Kate Shrewsday 
That was good work Phil the conquerer of time.
Unfortunately I used to be a cattle-class traveller and spent a lot longer than just 1 day out of my zone.
Oh Well Done Phil. I have done time zones many times in my life, and even on my Boston 24 hour trip, i was not able to do that!
I live with time zones all the time, because I use a radio to talk to others world wide.
So when I get up early and talk to the USA, I have to remember that the guy to whom I am talking is getting ready to go to bed.!
Dad
Nice one time traveller Phil. I’m sure the highlight was the Denny’s breakfast – it’s one of our favourite little things about trips to the US – the “Grand Slam” brekkie at Denny’s!
Boiled, bacon flavoured, porridge??? Sounds like a rather iffy tiredness induced delusion 🙂
Impressive effort by Phil . . . I expect his first class flight accommodations made all the difference. Well, that and the GRITS!
Impressive! You Shrewsdays are a tough lot 😉
Denny’s, hmm? I suppose what that regrettably all-American establishment does have going for it is the 24/7 breakfast option.
That and a dish called, “Moons Over My Hammy.”
Haha–the time wrestler. Sounds like the makings of a great book!
Sounds as though Phil managed much better than my son who recently flew San Francisco to London, stayed a week, and then returned. A day to recover going over, and at least two after he got back. Must have been the lack of grits …
I grew up on grits. Grits and eggs. Grits and sausage. Cheese grits. Kiss my gri……never mind.
Unless MTM prepares his shrimp and grits (or prawns and porridge for the English), I really don’t care for them. The Denny’s version had to be like wallpaper paste. Not a good place for a first intro. They need lots and lots and LOTS of butter and cream to be palatable.
I hope Phil will get to return to Dallas. One of my dear friends lives there, and there are lots of things to do.
That is one disciplined man, Kate! I don’t think he enjoyed the best of Dallas, but conquering time itself was a feat! Texas “cuisine” is a unique experience even for me, so I can only imagine. I think this solidified Phil in the “eccentric” category we have previously discussed. LOL!
How does travel involve so much discomfort, even going first class? As for grits – there I draw a line in the sand. In fact, a spoonful of sand might help the grits go down. I hope Phil is recovered and I love the picture.
Definitely easier to wrestle time if you don’t have to wrestle very long. My trips are usually two weeks and I have to wrestle time twice :-).
His method is the best for a very short trip. What a long way to go for grits 🙂
Ah, first class travel must help in more ways than one 🙂 I shudder too at the mere thought of bacon-flavoured milkshakes! Eww!
Oh, my, I’m ready for a nap just reading this, Kate (though not at all eager to go to a Denny’s restaurant). Good for Phil. He sounds quite disciplined to me.
Your OH is very disciplined! My OH tells me from his travels in his Walter Mitty life, that his jet lag lasted about 3 weeks! 🙂
An amazing way to maintain equilibrium, hats off to Time Lord Phil!
Just grits, eh, for the Texas experience. Too bad there was no time for something more western and hotter, like carne guisada, salsa, borracho beans, chicken enchiladas with verde sauce, and so forth.
I’ve got jet-lag just from reading this. Poor Phil – travelling for work is such a drag, first-class or not.
Time is the art of propelling us and keep haunting us. I call it a deadly ghost:)
Vishal
http://www.vishalbheeroo.wordpress.com
Phil has certainly wrestled time and won. I’ve tried to be on East Coast time when visiting my brother in Vegas. Even though it – like Frank Sinatra’s “New York, New York” – is a city that never sleeps, it’s not long before I’m working on Vegas time.
I’ll try his theory out soon on our next vacation. 🙂
Great job Phil! I try that but typically without a lot of success.
A great idea for a story about time wrestling! You go, Phil!
Cunningly contrived, indeed!
The Scottish blood in me always revolts at the thought of these lightning long-distance trips, though. All that money on the trip means one should enjoy some of what is on offer at the other side. Which is also why, if taking a flight to UK with a stopover in, for example, Switzerland, we extend the stopover from a few hours to a few days.
I lament that we were represented by a Denny’s…in Texas… 🙂
What a brilliant way to approach jet lag. I think you can only do that successfully when you fly first class with BA. I’ve seen photos of the lovely individual bedrooms 🙂