For a dog with a barrell-middle, our dog Macaulay has a surprisingly neat bottom. I would not call it large.
There are men like that, aren’t there? The neatest behinds despite the beer belly from Hades looming uncertainly above.
The dogs which have a fat bottom, we call Moogs, for reasons to which I shall come presently. Graceless, affable, over indulged creatures, they have been beloved of man for centuries. yet still they have the capacity to appear where we least expect them.
The American Museum of Natural History is a great, beautifully built cabinet of curiosities. The stuffed animals left me cold when we walked its corridors, but the anthropology had my eyes bulging from their sockets. It was an Aladdin’s Cave of story, and I could have spent all day there, travelling painstakingly from case to case. The Siberians I am saving for another day, but I must salute the fat-bottomed dogs which grin affably from their glass stands, small compact barrels, representations of kinetic energy for amyone who has ever owned a moog.
Alas, visiting with a family meant I was afforded just precious minutes there. I’m coming back, I resolved, alone, another year . And then I shall spend all day there.
The fat bottomed dogs hail from those strange shaft-tombs in Colima, Western Mexico; complex family trees fashioned in related tunnels underground, some centuries before Christ. There may be two reasons, the anthropologists tell us, why the ancient Mexicans put fat bottomed dogs in their tombs. Admittedly one reason could be that fat bottomed dogs could be eaten on the journey into the afterlife.
Or you can believe the other version, and I think I do. Fat bottomed dogs are spirit guides. They were put there in those subterranean tombs to guide the souls of the dead to a halcyon afterlife.
Look at them, though. One look at those little chaps is enough to know that they were companions, not lunch. The very thought of eating a fat bottomed dog is unsavoury; but as someone who trails a dog’s bottom through ancient forests every day, I cannot think of anything more comforting than following a moog’s behind to eternity.
I mentioned I would explain why we call them moogs.
Ready for something odd?
This is what a whole generation of English children – including me – were brought up on.
Kate Shrewsday 
I agree that they couldn’t possibly have been put in the tombs for food. Look how happy and content they look; they were obviously dearly beloved pets.
They do, Cindy. Happy little slightly indulged chaps.
How did I miss Kenneth William’s “Moog” cartoons whilst growing up? I think I know the answer, being the sizeable difference in our ages. I was probably already in the pub when Moog was offering his wisdom 🙂
I trust the company in the pub was superior to the moog, Roger…
They should make kids’ TV shows like that again.
They should. It was most odd, but oddly entertaining.
OK, couldn’t help laughing the entire time. Can’t wait for part two in the series, Fat Bottomed Cats. Yup, we certainly have one of those.
Oh, I love fat bottomed cats. They are so self possessed.
I enjoyed the Moog cartoon. I never got to see this on my side of the pond. Too bad. Very witty and charming. For some reason, Moog reminded me of Ricky Gervais playing one of his characters:)
I know exactly what you mean. There are rather a lot of characters like that to choose from over here….
Moogs! How fun.
As for the fat-bottomed dogs, I concur; they were companions, guides, eternal friends into the spirit world.
That’s settled, then, Penny 🙂
I’d never heard of Moogs, Kate. Fascinating.
Meso-American art has always interested me. It’s similar to Egyptian or Phoenician, but not.
I have never see small fat terriers deified before. It made me grin the whole day. Andra.
Oh, Willo the Wisp! How have I missed you? Cheers Kate. You’ve given me a large outbreak of nostalgia. I feel a trip to Youtube land to find that other childhood great voiced by Kenneth Williams – Ludwig!! 🙂
Talking of fat bottomed dogs… ‘dog Dog has decided his bottom needs to be on my feet :[)
They have a habit of doing that, don’t they….Caulay too….glad you enjoyed the trip down memory lane.
I would much rather follow a cute dog to the underworld than eat it.
You and me both, Laura!
I loved that video clip, Kate. And your collection of fat-bottomed dogs. 😀
I have to get back there to see more of the collection, Nancy. Just a couple more seats to New York…
I am sure you have got to the bottom of the matter, with dogged tenacity …
😀 Oh, if only punning were my forte, Col. Magnificent. Must get Phil to think something reciprocal up.
Perhaps moogs warm the spirit experiencing the first cold of life without a body, and hold the spirit’s leash to the afterworld. 🙂
Oh, Brenda, that’s absolutely beautiful! Said like a consummate fairy tale teller. I’l love to hear a tale such as that…
I might be able to create a story for a moog… I probably would violate a copyright to call it that, so… hmmm, I’d have to come up with my own name. I’ll ruminate. 🙂
The unmistakeable voice of Kenneth Williams 🙂 I’m with you on going to the museum alone – my kids are always hurrying me along – most annoying!
We need a remote control for time, Gabrielle. Just press pause and then spend all the time with the exhibits we want to!
Moogs is a new term for me 🙂
Until this post, Kate, I only thought of Moog as a synthesizer. That Moog makes Stimpy the cat seem like Einstein, though.
Moogs is entirely new to me, Kate! I’d love to see more…I wonder if I can find these old cartoons on the web. Gonna try! 🙂 You’ve opened my eyes to see these works of art differently. I suspect because of our geographic proximity to Mexico and the fact that the Mexican art influence is pervasive in Southern California, I’ve seen similar “fat bottomed dogs” in other museums and even in more current representations, but the truth is I really didn’t “see” them!
I’d rather think that the dogs were guides in the afterlife than an aperitif or the main course. Most unappetizing.
You’ve introduced me to a cartoon I’ve never heard of – Moog. Loved the ending.