Ribald. That’s what this post is. Bawdy, lewd, English, puerile poppycock.
Be warned. Abandon decorum, all ye who enter here today.
Over bacon sandwiches at Saturday breakfast, Phil told us about his friend at work who loves all things Jurassic Park.
“One of his favourite YouTube clips”, my husband confided between enthusiastic mouthfuls, ” is that bit where they see the dinosaurs for the first time and the theme crashes in and it’s all very memorable. Only,” he grinned, “someone has dubbed another instrument all together. It’s very funny.”
He didn’t tell me the instrument.
Being British, I had already an instrument in mind. Quickly, I did a mental run through of the scene in my head, accompanied by my chosen instrument. I began to giggle. Before long, I was crying, unable to get this imaginary rendition from my head.
“I know just what instrument it was, ” I told Phil.
But I had jumped to conclusions. My husband had already grabbed the iPad, and was Googling furiously for the correct clip. And this is what he played:
Which, if you have a very English sense of humour, will make you laugh a lot because it takes this incredible, monumental moment and adds a tinny touch of amateurism to the whole thing.
But though I laughed loudly, I did not guffaw with complete abandon, because the instrument in my head was even funnier. And I realised in that instant that I must realise my vision, and find some way of accessing the instrument in my head.
I didn’t know if it even existed: but I felt sure it should.
This modern age: it is an extraordinary time when one can imagine an instrument and find out, with a quick jig of the fingertips on a computer keyboard,whether it exists, and indeed, download and play it.
A little googling brought me the news that it does exist, and can even be accessed with an app. If you share our infantile sense of humour, try out the Fart Piano. My Mac had trouble with it, but my iPad and phone had no problems whatsoever. Expect hours of fun ruining all number of classics. I have played Lloyd Webber, Bach (JS), Dvorak (New World Symphony) and Hey Jude by the Beatles. Hours and hours of pointless, absorbing flatulent fun.