Of This Modern Age, and the Fart Piano


Ribald. That’s what this post is. Bawdy, lewd, English, puerile poppycock.

Be warned. Abandon decorum, all ye who enter here today.

Over bacon sandwiches at Saturday breakfast, Phil told us about his friend at work who loves all things Jurassic Park.

“One of his favourite YouTube clips”, my husband confided between enthusiastic mouthfuls, ” is that bit where they see the dinosaurs for the first time and the theme crashes in and it’s all very memorable. Only,” he grinned, “someone has dubbed another instrument all together. It’s very funny.”

He didn’t tell me the instrument.

Being British, I had already an instrument in mind. Quickly, I did a mental run through of the scene in my head, accompanied by my chosen instrument. I began to giggle. Before long, I was crying, unable to get this imaginary rendition from my head.

“I know just what instrument it was, ” I told Phil.

But I had jumped to conclusions. My husband had already grabbed the iPad, and was Googling furiously for the correct clip. And this is what he played:

Which, if you have a very English sense of humour, will make you laugh a lot because it takes this incredible, monumental moment and adds a tinny touch of amateurism to the whole thing.

But though I laughed loudly, I did not guffaw with complete abandon, because the instrument in my head was even funnier. And I realised in that instant that I must realise my vision, and find some way of accessing the instrument in my head.

I didn’t know if it even existed: but I felt sure it should.

This modern age: it is an extraordinary time when one can imagine an instrument and find out, with a quick jig of the fingertips on a computer keyboard,whether it exists, and indeed, download and play it.

A little googling brought me the news that it does exist, and can even be accessed with an app. If you share our infantile sense of humour, try out the Fart Piano. My Mac had trouble with it, but my iPad and phone had no problems whatsoever. Expect hours of fun ruining all number of classics. I have played Lloyd Webber, Bach (JS), Dvorak (New World Symphony) and Hey Jude by the Beatles. Hours and hours of pointless, absorbing flatulent fun.





29 thoughts on “Of This Modern Age, and the Fart Piano

  1. Pianofarte is surely the correct technical term?! Smiled at the melodica version of JP, reminds me how facility in pianoforte playing doesn’t translate immediately and well for the wouldbe harmonica player.

    When teaching music I got pupils to use a simple Yamaha sampling keyboard for compositions and raspberries were, I remember, a popular ‘musical’ sound to sample. But I always thought mine were the best…

    By the way, Kate, did you know that ‘blowing a raspberry’ is rhyming slang? It’s short for ‘raspberry tart’ of course. I was confused as a lad by Beano and Dandy cartoon characters with tongues stuck out and a RASP! sound emanating — I assumed it was the sound of a metal file, and I could never get my tongue to make that particular sound.

      1. I’m assuming the Bach played on the fartpiano was the highly apt Air on a G String? You could also try Copland’s Fanfart for the Common Man.

      1. I thought of introducing a reference to the German word Einfahrt here, but that would have left me with no way out, wouldn’t it?

  2. I’m now convinced. One can find EVERYthing on Google. Of course, whether one should or not is another question… 😉

    I’ll have to show my boys this. They’ll love it, I’m sure!

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