It is possible that, even without the capacity to grow a beard, that I have become a little too beardy weirdy.
Can you burn rose incense in the morning in the garden? Is that even done? A question I put to my daughter, who turns 18 very soon. I have gone too far, My Dear, I said. I am in the far reaches of the New Age now, for I burn rose incense before 10 o clock in the morning.
The small dog, a new edition, stopped short on the pavement nearby as I lit the incense stick and he sat down, a sure sign that he felt his paws were on shifting sands. Riley is already cultivating terrier disapproval as A Thing, and it radiated from his tiny black tousled form.
I have a rainbow wishing stick on my wall and Shiva Naturaja, a Hindu God and glorious code for the universe, upon my writing desk. I recently visited the stone rings at Avebury and am researching enchanted trees, green men and odd engravings.Yesterday, in St Albans, I wandered voluntarily into a new age crystal shop where a lovely young lady with a very high voice and an excellent heart welcomed me and shortly afterwards The Celt.It was full of small brightly coloured stones and I coveted them. I spotted a small plastic bag with three stones in it, labelled in unpretentious capitals ANXIETY. Was it for anxiety or did it cause it? Because if it was the former I definitely could use them but if the latter I’d rather not, thank you.
It turned out to be the former and I actually bought three conducive rocks for £3 and bore them proudly home to my daughter who worries.
And we are in the Summer of Companionablenesss, where Britain bakes and gardens are filled with fairy lights and al fresco dining, and I have gone several hippie steps further and light candles at night and burn lots of rose incense because in my opinion it smells divine.
My daughter surveyed me levelly across the sinuous wheedling strands of smoke. Someone coughed: I think it was me.
“Mum,” she counselled gravely, “when you think you have got too New Agey, it is a sure sign that you should become much more so.”
Today, in delight, I have dressed like a bag lady and potter about, sweeping gardens, mopping floors and enjoying my small but perfectly formed edge-of-the-forest new age empire.It is the beginning of a fortnight without work.
I think I’ll just pop out and light some more incense.